Ninong Mete?

Wakes and funerals are solemn occasions that make us pause to give
respect to those who have gone on ahead of us. But what if it turns
out to be the opposite?
       With All Saints Day coming up, I'm sure that most of us are preparing
to honor the dead. Here are a few snippets that really happened and
how they  so reflect the humor that can seep into the solemnest of
occasions and make them so vividly Pinoy.
       When My Lola Esyang (my dad's lola) died, we all trooped to Paniqui,
Tarlac for the funeral. I was a second year high school student then
and was quite transfixed by the events -- the crying, the rituals, the
beliefs, the stories. Still, I couldn't help feeling a little stifled
by it all until the funeral itself. My Lola Juanita (my lolo's eldest
sister) was quite bereft with grief and for the past days could do
nothing but cry. The funeral itself was no exception -- oh how she
cried, oh how loudly she wailed! When we got to the cemetery, her
tears grew even louder and she began to shout in earnest, "Inda, tuki
nyo ko, tuki nyo ko! (Mother, take me with you, take me with you!),"
growing more frenetic by the minute. My Lola Maria, who was standing
behind her and trying to hold her back, was making soothing noises to
calm her down. Still Lola Juanita continued to wail, until finally my
Lola Maria could no longer contain herself and pushed her slightly
toward the grave, "O tuki na ka! (Go with her then!)" Finally, we had
some peace and quiet.
        I'm sure you're well aware of the Pinoy's tendency to cry in front
of the coffin, right? Well, Ned's lola and her siblings were simply
unconsolable at his lolo's wake and stood there in front of the coffin
weeping and wailing at their loss. Nothing it seemed could stop their
tears until another sooo Pinoy tradition did. "O, picture!" someone
shouted. Guess what the three did? Stood up straight, stopped crying
before saying, "Teka! Teka!," fixed their hair and their faces and
smiled for posterity...
       And finally, another of Ned's lolos could be heard crying as he
arrived for the wake. From the kanto to the entrance of the church,
how loudly he sobbed. As he slowly made his way to where the coffin
was he continued crying non-stop until he reached it, stopped
abruptly, turned his head then asked, "Nino'ng mete? (who died?)"
       Classic Pinoy.

IRED after a day's work, I lay on the bed watching Linkin' Park in concert on MTV. Not exactly relaxing fare, I know, but the group's metal-rap music soothes me. All that head bangin', finger snappin' and foot thumpin' .... just perfect!

In the middle of my watching the music channel, my son barges in to get something, only to come to a screeching halt when he spies what I'm watching.

"Linkin' Park???!!!" he said incredulously as he looked at the screen before training his eyes on me.

"Yes," I answered tentatively, wondering what the fuss was all about.

"Linkin Park," he declared, still with that incredulous look, "You???!!"

"What's wrong with them?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said. "But you!" he pointed out, "Classics....."

So this is what I get for playing Beethoven, Mozart and the rest of the classics gang all throughout my pregnancy!

Seriously now, my girl friends and I were discussing the weird way women behave when they are pregnant and ended up laughing like crazy.

Take for example--my cousin. She would walk around the market everyday because she suddenly developed a taste for the smell of fish. She would shudder, on the other hand, whenever her hubby was around because she hated

his smell. A friend would regularly order pansit but would watch the cook like a hawk to make sure that he only put in one small piece of liver. If he as so much as put in another piece, she would get angry and refuse to eat. Another cousin, developed a taste for Choc-nut and refused any other form of sweets and would throw a tantrum if she ran out of it.

I know I drove my mom and Ned bonkers with my request for Corn and Crab Soup. "

Yung Royco ha," I specified, not knowing it was not out in the market anymore. My mom must have bought four different brands. When I tasted each one of them, I ended up in tears because it wasn't Royco.

Being pregnant can produce some really funny situations but being a mother can get you into some more. Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, this issue is specially for you.

By the way, Naki loves crab and corn soup.

Ps and Qs [The Art of Being Polite]

"Thank you." 
I swung my head around to check if I'd heard right. Was that my son? Was that actually my son 
bidding the waitress thank you? The waitress came to our table with a vanilla shake and gave it to my son.
And i heard it again, "thank you," he said, and with a smile. I nearly fainted.
Years of nagging him again and again to never forget his pleases and thank yous had finally worked.
It had become automatic to him. So, why am I so overjoyed?
Here's the column I wrote eons ago that would best illustrate why......
      *********


DON'T you just hate it when people forget to say thank you?
       I mean, it's such a simple thing to do. You see someone drop an
object and you point it out to them. They pick it up and that's it.
Not a wave, not a thank you, not even an acknowledgement.
       It's sad, right?
       We were at a party recently when my sister-in-law was tasked to give
out printed copies of the order of events. She went from table to
table distributing the sheets of paper, smiling all the while. When
she came back to our table, her smile had faded  and she seemed upset.
       "Wala man lang nag thank you sa akin," she said, quite puzzled. "Can
you imagine that?" she said. "Except for our relatives, " she pointed
out, "there's more than 12 tables here and not even one of them
thanked me."
       I completely understood her. Thank you. Two words. Two such short but
meaningful words. It means you care. It means you appreciate others.
It means that you acknowledge the help and value of other people.
       I go berserk whenever my son forgets to say those two words.  Never
ever, I rage at him, forget your Ps & Qs (Please and Thank yous).
"Kahit wala ka nang matutunan sa akin," I lecture, "Basta lang wag
mong kakalimutan mag-please and thank you!"
       Whether it's something big like a friend lending you money or a
security guard opening the door for you, don't forget to say thank you
with a smile. You'd be amazed on how two little words can spread a
whole world of cheer.
       

lola inda

s. Friendship. That's what we teasingly called my Lola Maria when the ICU waiting room at the Manila Doctors Hospital overflowed with her guests.
    Two weeks ago we rushed her to the hospital because she couldn't breathe. The culprit? Hika. She developed asthma this year, the year she turned 90 and boy did she complain about it. "Kung kelan matanda na ako," she grumbled. 
    Not a big fan of hospitals, my lola (or Inda as we call her) wanted to go home right away. Unfortunately, her heart was not up to it yet, taxed heavily by the asthma. The visit to the ER resulted in a prolonged stay in the ICU.
    The unspoken fear of everyone who visited her was that she could so easily slip away from us. One doctor was so surprised when he learned she was 90. He told her that she should be happy 'coz she was evidently way past the limit. Not to us who love and treasure her. You see, my lola can get very makulit but that's all part of her very cute package. She's one strong woman and boy, is she still sharp. As my auntie says, Inda remembers everyone who owes her something and she specially remembers when it is she who owes somebody something even if it's only a bottle of Royal Tru Orange.
    To go back to that Ms. Friendship thing, everyone but everyone who learned she was sick rushed to the hospital. Maybe it's because of her old age that everyone was overly concerned or maybe it's just because she's genuinely loved. 
    Children, grandchildren,great-grandchildren, pamangkins, neighbors, her boarders -- we all came flocking to talk to her, to give her comfort, to offer prayers and mostly to exchange stories about her. I think it was we who gave each other more comfort though, Inda was more concerned about throwing off all the tubes they had inserted in her body. And oh, how upset she was at not being able to go to the toilet on her own!
    Strong, determined -- that's the Inda I've always known. She who has raised four kids and taken in many more. She who has lived through and gave birth during a World War. She who fought valiantly so that her husband would accept the Lord and her religion.  She's not one to give up without a fight and I know this is one that she won't lose. We've promised her everything -- her favorite food, her favorite flowers and told her we intend to throw a big party for her. "Jollibee, Inda," we  teased, "para may mascot at baka isama pati si  Aga Muhlach." 
    Well, the doctors said today that she's moving out of the ICU to a private room. Prayers are most welcome.
    
    

Addicted to [Chinese] Movies

After watching two movies at the ongoing French Film Festival in UP Diliman's Film Center
 (http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=592967429), I suddenly remembered the days when Sky Cable was not too greedy and the Chinese Channel was included in their regular package and I was hooked on nothing but Chinese movies.....

"THERE'S something wrong with this picture, 'Nay," my son, Naki, pointed
out as Ned and I were watching Charlie's Angels on HBO one Saturday
night.
       "Huh?" I asked puzzled. "What?"
       Smiling very broadly, Naki said, "You're not watching Chinese movies!"
       Guilty.
       For the past few months I've been obsessed with Star Movies Mandarin.
From the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep, I'm tuned in to the
Chinese channel. No, I don't speak Chinese nor do I understand it but
I can read subtitles and am discovering a new world of movies aside
from Hollywood and the local scene.
       As a certified TV addict, I was getting tired of the same old movie
fare on the English channels and chanced upon Love On A Diet starring
Andy Lau and Sammy (forgot her last name).  Love, in any language, is
still love and very entertaining to watch. So, I sat there entranced
for the next two and a half hours as I watched the two Hong Kong
superstars playing two very healthy (as in fat) individuals trying to
lose weight and in the process falling in love with each other.
       I was hooked. Day in and day out, I'd tune in to watch more movies
and discovered other action (and triad) genres and more. Already a fan
of Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat and Jet Li, I'm now a devotee of Ekin
Cheng. Not to forget Andy Lau, Jordan Chan, Edison Chen, Daniel
Wu.....and the list goes on and on. I've gotten hooked so badly that I
even watch "Movies in the Making" without English subtitles and
watched an entire Andy Lau concert (no, he didn't sing a single
English song).
       The thing is, while my husband nearly dies laughing whenever he sees
me glued to my Chinese movies, I have found an ally in my son. A fan
of AXN and Japanese anime, he's bent on studying the language so that
he doesn't have to read the subtitles anymore. He also happily told me
the other day about a comedy he watched, Happy Ghosts. Yup, on the
Chinese channel.
       Poor Ned! With only two television sets in the house, he has to wait
for Naki and I to start snoring before he can tune into BBC and the
rest of the news.
       Well, the other night, Ned woke up to me still watching TV. "Ano'ng
pinapanood mo?
       "Ha?" I answered,"Hindi Chinese," I added defensively.
       "E ano?," he asked sleepily.
       "French." 

mula ulo hanggang paa

ANY years ago -- in the mid seventies during Martial Law -- my daddy came out with a booklet entitled, Mula Ulo Hanggang Paa. It  was a workbook that asked the reader  to fill in the products that he used, from the tip of his head to the bottom of his feet (from shampoo to tsinelas). As you filled the blanks in, you would realize then that majority, if not all , the products that you used in and on your body were all made elsewhere but the Philippines. 
    It was my dad's way of reminding us, Pinoys to be more patriotic and not forget  our own products. As June 12 rolls in, let us find ways to show our love for our country. 
    1. Eat nothing but Pinoy flavors -- tapsilog, longsilog or sinangag and tuyo for breakfast. Suman and kakanin or halu-halo for merienda. Inihaw,  tinola, sinigang and other Pinoy favorites for lunch and dinner. Need something to drink? Buko juice, sago't gulaman, ginumis.....
    2. Listen to Pinoy music day and night  -- from kundiman to pop -- the whole day.
    3. Buy a flag and decorate it proudly -- in front of your residence, in your car. Wear the colors of the flag -- blue, red, yellow and white.
    4. Buy Pinoy books -- As you buy your favorite Pinoy authors, squeeze in those cute children's books  from Adarna, Anvil, Lampara and the likes for your kids (if you don't have children, get them for your inaanaks, nephews and nieces). My son, Naki began following the stories from Dragon Pula, Munting Patak Ulan and Unggoy at ang Matsing as early as he could see. Adarna also has a great line of heroes -- men and women, young and old.
    5. Chuck those imported bags even for a while and bring out those baskets and bayong. My gosh, the whole world is crazy about our native bags, why shouldn't we be of our own? Besides, our products are environment-friendly as well as handy and fashionable.
    6. Watch Pinoy movies and help revive the ailing film industry. The Manila Film Festival is a great way to start making your way back into our film culture. Want comedy? Try Super B. Want to cry buckets of tears? Magkapatid starring Sharon Cuneta and Judy Ann Santos. 
    7. Instead of just visiting museums (which is a very good idea), take time to walk around the streets of Old Manila, any of our old churches, town plazas or even schools like UST, Lyceum and the like......
    Finally, give your fathers a great big hug and a loud smack on the cheek (Father's Day is in June, too) and ask him how life was in the good old days or during the Martial Law years or Edsa 1. A great way to learn about our history.....
    

one is enough

As the mother of one, I get a lot of unsolicited "friendly" advice to have more
kids. "Kahit isa na lang", I am told followed by a 1. pitying smile  2. an added comment like, "sayang naman", and,  3. ang tipid 'nyo naman.


       My usual reaction is to smile back.
       My practical reaction is to answer, "mahal masyado ang bilihin para magpalaki pa ng isa...." 
       My most violent reaction is, "ayoko na, no!"

       Of course, the violent reaction is only when I get an overdose of my
smart alecky son. Why do I need another child when I have four rolled
into one? See, there's  a little of Calvin, Dennis, Garfield and Jughead
in Naki. No, my son's not Sybil but the way he devours his comic
books, it's like he's been possessed by all four.

       Naki/Dennis (the Menace by Hank Ketcham) likes to play outside with his wagon and scooter and gets into  fun-loving scrapes. Though he has no Mr. Wilson to challenge, he
does get plenty of hollers his way because of his profound love for clutter and disarray, in short "makalat siya". He's also had his share of time standing in the corner.

       Naki/Garfield (by Jim Davis)  is the lasagna-loving, milk-drinking, always hungry
individual. He's the one who informed me quite matter-of-factly that he is "all about food". When a lightning storm hit Quezon City the other day, all of us scrambled to turn the electric appliances off and pull the plugs out of their sockets. My son? He ran screaming with his plate, shouting, "Protect the food!"

       Naki/Jughead (of Archie) is the slouch who loves hamburgers and will have nothing
to do with girls. The other day, I asked my son over a hot burger who his partner in their special number  in school was. He didn't answer. I had to spend precious time convincing him that I was in no way going to tease him, that I merely wanted to know because I didn't know who she was. "Patricia", he  finally said under his breath,  after I   threatened to cut off his TV viewing time. "Eh sinong girlfriend mo??!!" I quickly followed up.
( Hey, I couldn't help myself. It just came out naturally. Sayang naman kasi ang opportunity.) Of course, he clamped up and threw me a very violent, "I hate girls!" (including my mother) look.

       Now, Naki/Calvin (and Hobbes by Bill Watterson). I am quite convinced that Naki is Calvin. He may not drag a Hobbes all over the place but he has a whole cabinet of
stuffed toys to choose from. He loves dinosaurs, he loves to experiment, he's afraid of the dark, he sees monsters in shadows and he's a smart aleck. You'll never win an argument 'coz he has an answer for everything.  

       Example: After an hour in the bathroom, we discovered that he still
had not wet his hair. "Ba't di ka pa nag-shampoo," I screamed. "Tuyong-tuyo pa 
ang buhok mo!"  Without blinking, he looked up at the light bulb and remarked, "Hmmm..the light must have dried it." 
        Grrrrrr.

       Oh yeah, Naki/Calvin has great vocabulary. While  cleaning his ear,
Naki protested sleepily, saying that his Tatay was pulverizing his ear.
       "Pulverizing??!!" I bet you don't even know what that means," I teased.
       About to close his eyes, Naki opened them wide and mouthed, "Powdered, 'Nay."

        Now, you tell me -- do I really need another child?   


- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - -
Update: 
Written when Naki was still in grade school, things haven't really changed. My son
is still a melange of four of his favorite cartoon characters and yes, I would rather borrow than have another one. One is surely enough :)