D-I-E- (T)!!!

Going through my files, this column (again written eons ago) seems so timely. As I get ready to do lab tests to check on hypertension, I can just imagine what my doctor has planned for me after the test results. Goodbye, wonderful, tasty food, goodbye! 

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"Joyce!" my doctor exclaimed, looking keenly at me as I entered the
clinic. "I think we need to lose some calories..."
       Leafing through my laboratory and x-ray results, it became pretty
obvious that he wasn't the one who needed to lose weight. Guess who
did?
       "I think it would be best," he continued, "if you cut down on carbohydrates."
       "Hindi naman po ako malakas sa kanin," I said, trying to defend
myself and wiggle out of what I knew would be an ordeal, when out of
the blue, someone butted in.
       "Sa pasta ho malakas sya," said my "loving" husband.
       That was it! The death sentence of pasta, bread and rice in my life.
       "You need to be more careful," the doctor warned, "with the holidays
coming and food abundant....."
       He didn't need to spell it out as already I couldn't fit into my
jeans and was bursting out of my blouses. I resolved to stop eating
too much.
       So that's how I've been living for the past three weeks. Instead of
rice, I eat ulam with lettuce, kangkong, camote tops mustasa or corn.
I no longer look at bread or pandesal in the morning. If I can't help
myself, I eat a piece of toasted wheat bread. Don't worry, I'm not
starving myself and I make sure to pair it off with papaya, pineapple
or whatever fruit is available, plus something leafy. And pasta and
noodles which I looooove to distraction? I look at it and take three
forkfuls at the most.
       So far I haven't grown any thinner, my pants still don't fit me and
the ground still shakes whenever I pass by. But slowly, I'm getting
used to saying no to PBR (pasta, potato, bread and rice).
       Just last night while eating dinner, Narda asked me if I really
didn't eat rice anymore.
       "Oo," I beamed proudly. "Madami ngang pasta kanina noong lunch, pero
hindi ako kumuha."
       "Somebody call the doctor!" hollered Naki, my son. " My mom's not eating!"
       I hit him with my corn.