Lolo Inggo

My lolo died one April, a few days short of my grandparents" 50th wedding anniversary. It was so sudden it took us all by surprise. Though many years have passed, the pain of losing him still hurts...

I dreamt of my Lolo Inggo last night. In my dream, he was his robust old self and just rarin' to see his latest apo (supposedly my newborn daughter). I woke up very happy because that's the only way I get to see him now -- in my dreams.


Inggo was my first grandparent to pass away and it hit me really bad. He was the one closest to me in proximity (we were next-door neighbors) but he was the one farthest from me emotionally. A little on the strict side, he was not very showy in his affections. Still, I knew he loved me in his gruff kind of way.


When he died, I couldn't get over the fact that he was no longer there, that my lolo just ceased to exist. That he wouldn't be there waiting for me at the kanto or by his window when I came home late at night. That I would no longer hear the kalampag of the sandok as he fried rice for my Lola Maria. That he would no longer exchange giggles or tease her unmercifully. And belatedly, I realized I also never told him how much he meant to me.


Until that day, I just assumed that my grandparents would be there forever. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening. When I anaylze things now, however, it seemed that my grandparents waited for major events -- graduation, wedding, the birthdays of their apo sa tuhod-- in my life and shared them with me before they left me. It was as if they were creating positive memories and I reveled in them and made sure they realized how I treasured their love and presence.


But no matter how fond the memories are, there will always be regrets -- that you cannot hold or touch or hug them ever again.


So while we go out and contemplate how Christ died for us, remember also our dear departed ones and don't forget the ones who are still alive and a part of your lives. Spare them a hug, shower them with kisses. Better still, tell them you love them a lot. Good memories start this way...